IN MADNESS I FOUND SANITY

I’ve been involved in fandom for a really long time.

But, you know, I think that Kuroshitsuji will probably definitely be the one fandom that I’ll always return to; sure, I’ll take breaks from it—most people do need to take time away from certain fandoms to ensure that they don’t have burnout—but I really and truly do believe that Kuro will be the fandom, the “home,” that I always return to.

The art and plotline are both stunning and engaging on their own (and combined), but it’s the characters that I’ve come to feel so much for. Specifically, for me, it’s all about Sebastian and Ciel. There’s something so… so incredibly broken and yet utterly complementary about the two of them: desperation and hunger and a relationship based solely on need—for revenge and hatred, for power, to satiate the craving for a human soul, survival on so many levels and in so many instances because both eventually mesh to the point where they just fit and become irrevocably entwined. You never see Ciel without Sebastian and Sebastian without Ciel… unless the separation comes by force or there’s a game afoot that both are viciously engaged in.

It’s interesting to see, as the series progresses, how each becomes the other’s weakness and yet still remain so incredibly guarded because of the very point that they are aware of this fact. Honestly, they make each other both better and worse than they ever could be alone.

What I love about this pairing, though, is that it never pulls any punches. It’s dark and vicious and angry and brutal. True, there are moments filled with warm contentment, but the overall series can’t really be described as happy. For Sebastian and Ciel, it’s a pairing full of games—chess played with people and events taking the place of the pieces while the board spans across England and the rest of Europe, one-upmanship that seems almost childish and petty one moment and utterly heartless the next, emotional and psychological manipulations that strike fast and true to the heart of the matter and the person: spiders and flies and the reader never quite knowing just who currently holds the power because it’s always constantly shifting and the definition of ‘power’ is never fully defined and settled upon. It’s this giant battle of wits, an intellectual match with a razor-blade fine emotional element to it; because Sebastian and Ciel do care for each other… maybe. There are moments where you can’t help but breathe out “Yes.” because that’s the moment where you think that, finally, there is a demonstration of true caring between the two of them—and then there are the moments where you can’t help but wince and look away because the cruelty shown cuts straight to your heart. And it hurts so much because you care about these two: you’ve become emotionally invested.

And the perfect thing about this? Both of those things are true, the cruelty and the caring, and that’s what really makes this pairing cut to the quick: because it’s so broad and layered and complex and both Ciel and Sebastian are so good at putting up masks and diversions and it’s oftentimes so hard to tell, but maybe… just maybe…

Until you, the reader, remember that there is a Faustian contract between Ciel and Sebastian—and there are very, very few ways that their story can end. It’s even less likely that any of those endings will be a happy one.

That realization is like being gutted, but you can’t help but love them more because there’s always been something within you, hidden and deep, that’s been fascinated with the Dark.

(Source: rightsidethru)

Ciel Phantomhive Contact Lenses

…It’s Sebastian Appreciation Weekend…